Another area where Satan tries to push women to extremes is in the area of keeping household duties and spiritual pursuits in balance. Women who are unequally yoked are especially vulnerable in this area.  If a woman is married to a man who is not a Christian, of course her desire would be to lead him to the Lord. We have all heard the old saying, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."  If a wife has claimed her husband's heart for Jesus, she might try reaching it through his stomach, if all else has failed. Then, when he asks why the sudden change, she can humbly say the Lord spoke to her about neglecting him and the home, and that Jesus very much wants happy homes and happy husbands. He will be interested in knowing a God like that. It works with rebellious kids, too, applied a little differently. Many of our family members are really crying out for love through their very acts of rebellion. Let's remember to spend time with them, as God gave us the home first.

Some wives neglect their husbands and homes by engaging in too many spiritual pursuits. Of course, the opposite problem can also exist in our homes. Other problems arise when wives are so neat and fastidious about their homes that so much time is spent on cleaning and cooking, that they neglect the much needed time of family worship and fellowship. Houses then become a "shrine" to be admired, placing more emphasis on the "residence" than the "residents."  Women can become "Marthas" instead of  "Marys."

Luke 10:38-42:
38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.
40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

The Lord wants both areas balanced in our lives, so let us remember not to be so "heavenly minded" that we are no "earthly good." And on the other hand, let's not get so earthbound that we miss the beauty of the Spirit. The woman has her primary responsibility in the home, since the Scripture says she is to be the keeper of the home.

Titus 2:5: To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.'' 

Proverbs 31:28 says that the virtuous woman is such a wonderful wife and mother, that her husband praises her and her children bless her. Some of us may feel we fall far beneath this Biblical model, but we can aspire to her example by asking the Lord to help us in the areas where we are failing.  As wives and mothers, we should examine our lives to see where we fall short, and ask God to help us be like the companion and mother spoken about in these verses. Do our children call us blessed? What about our husbands? Are they praising us as wives?

Perhaps our children are rebellious at this time; maybe our husbands are far from the Christian ideal, and neither is praising, nor blessing us. Do we blame them, and insist that the Lord change them, or do we look at ourselves and ask the Lord to turn the searchlight upon our own faults and failures, so that He might work a change in us? Our number one problem is not our children, our mates, our job, or our circumstances--it is ourselves. Until we are willing to change ourselves, the Lord cannot begin the needed changes in our families.

How does God effect these changes in our lives? First of all, we must be honest with God and face our shortcomings and sins. We must come confessing, "God, I am resentful toward this person; I can't help it; I don't want to be like this; help me change. Lord, help me to be the kind of wife and mother that will inspire my husband and children to rise up and call me blessed. Amen."  As we yield to the Lord and follow His promptings, we shall surely see changes in our lives and in the lives of those we love.

We must begin by seeing the kind of woman we are. Are we like this virtuous woman, or the contentious woman in Proverbs 21:19? I'm sure our desire is that we fit into the category of the first type, for we certainly do not want to be referred to as angry and contentious. But I wonder, if we honestly examined our hearts and motives and let the Lord turn His searchlight on us, if we might not see some areas where anger and contention do exist in our lives. Perhaps we do not openly voice our anger, but inside we feel it toward our husbands or children; and because we do not voice it, we have feelings of resentment toward them.

Jesus, in the New Testament, talked much about our thought life and our inner feelings. Remember, as He spoke to the religious leaders of His day, He reproved them for their evil hearts, even though their outward deeds appeared to be right and good. We can outwardly do our duties as mothers and wives, but inside our hearts, we may not really be lovingly ministering to them. We may be motivated by duty, not love. None of us really appreciate people doing things for us simply because it is their job. The real witness to others is when we do something simply because we love them. A lot of Spirit-filled Christians are eager to show the love of Jesus to everyone else, but those of their own households often suffer from a lack of love. Let us certainly show the love of Jesus to all we meet, but let us remember to show it in our homes first, asking the Lord to give us the true Spirit of love in performing our daily chores; then we will receive the praise from our mates and children, as did this noble, virtuous woman.